Imagine being a colour - maybe blue, pink, green or yellow bright;
And yet, asked to be either just black or white.
Likewise, the idea of gender and sexuality in the IIT Patna student community is also limited and restricted, to what was taught to them and what they have seen in their upbringing. Most of us think of the LGBTQIA+ community in India to be an exotic community found only on Twitter and Instagram, not the ones in our own friend circles. Our team at Forthright too were entirely unaware of queer people in our midst, until someone finally came forward to us. This student of IIT Patna asked us why nobody has ever broken the silence on the queer community in IIT Patna and sought Forthright to give a humane and supportive spotlight.
This conversation left us startled, conflicted and curious. In barely an hour into the conversation, we had an entire perspective shift about the whole institute, and our curiosity grew on what honestly is the common sentiment and awareness in campus about the queer community here. To capture this honest landscape - of recognition and acceptance of the queer community at IIT Patna, we came up with the survey ‘What if your Dost was Queer?’
Even then, our team was yet a bit unsatisfied, it felt like we were leaving behind the ones whose opinions actually mattered the most in about this topic - the Queer community themselves. We reached back to our friend now, and two others as well, to talk to us about what ‘being queer in IIT Patna’ looks like. For the sake of their privacy, we have kept their personal details aside and changed their names to Sangria, Magenta and Dijon (yes, bright and beautiful colours just like our interviewees). So lets meet our three friends and hear what they have to say, shall we?
This section contains three interviews of individuals who identify as part as queer, which were recorded during Pride Month last year (June 2022). We shall not disclose the identity of the interviewees, as per the interviewees’ request. However, we have been given consent to disclose the fact that all three individuals are students of IIT Patna. For ease of the reader, we have named the interviewees Sangria, Magenta and Dijon.
SANGRIA
Sangria goes by the pronouns - she/her, and identifies herself as sapphic and is a student at IIT Patna.
I - Firstly, happy Pride Month! I hope you’re in good spirits. When did you accept yourself as queer?
Sangria - Honestly, I have known for a very long time, probably ever since I was a six year old child that I find women attractive and barely feel anything towards men. Like, I appreciate them in an aesthetic manner but nothing more than that. As a child, I have had a lot of crushes on female celebrities and found myself romantically inclined, but I didn’t know what that feeling was, in my head it was just something wrong and to be kept inside.
So, I guess I knew from when I was around 6 and slowly around the age of 10, I heard about the different terms, but it was just something I heard in a passing and mostly heard it as abuse. Even in movies I watched, it was just used as abuse or shown as inferior.
I would say, when I actually let myself learn properly about the LGBTQ+ community, and embraced the fact I am lesbian/sapphic was in 8th grade. From there on, I guess it was a decent uphill journey, learning more stuff, familiarising myself with the different terms in the queer spectrum.
I - Did you come out to all your friends? If yes, how was that experience?
Sangria - It was a very gradual process, but I would say majority of my friend circle know by now. Maybe it was the pandemic that ate up a significant chunk of time and one-on-one interactions, otherwise maybe I would’ve come out to probably all of my friends.
Now I just second-guess myself if its all that worth it to come out to them, as in if somebody takes it in the wrong way, when there’s already less time left in my college life. I would say, I’m an anxious person, and pretty insecure about this. Nobody was really outright supportive when I grew up, so I just came out to people who I was sure wouldn’t just hurl out abuses my way. I don’t take the risk of someone who might get ignited by it.
I - Stepping a little back, what was your experience in your initial days at IIT Patna?
Sangria - I wasn’t very happy getting into (IIT) Patna. No offense to the place or state, but it is ill-reputed to be backward in many ways. I did not think this place would be queer friendly especially considering they do not have any established queer collectives or communities. But, yea I do see pride marches and supportive groups coming up in Bihar as a whole. But, I did not feel comfortable, I’ll be honest. I did come across people in my first year who had been queer-phobic, who did use it as an abuse and have their views known that they were blatantly queer-phobic with no rhyme or reason.
A - Since you’ve accepted yourself as queer long enough, what difference do you see in the attitude towards the LGBTQ+ community and any place you’ve been before.
Sangria - I would not say it has been a good experience in any of the institutions I’ve studied, not that it was aimed at me, but generally the culture was toxic in every sense. It was hard enough for hetero couples in some places, why would it be better for same-sex couples (chuckles) ?
However, if I were to compare with different colleges across India, we are far behind. People who have studied with me in school and are now in different colleges, they’re doing good things, they have established collectives, they take Pride Month seriously, they take educating people about the LGBTQ+ community seriously and in fact sex education itself very seriously.
I - Do you feel comfortable being yourself in campus? How much have you changed/suppressed in your behaviour or personality because of others?
Sangria - I don’t think I’ve changed much, its not like I’m hiding it for the first time right, this has been my modus operandi forever (laughs). I have always been the way I was and luckily as a girl, a decent amount of affection is acceptable in society, at least in friendships.
Maybe, a change I’d see is when I come out to people and they ask me about my crushes, I am honest instead of skirting around the questions (hehe).
I think its because I’ve known since I was a kid that since its viewed as something wrong, I should keep this to myself. At least, until I am in a supportive environment, a safer environment, not supportive. I don’t mind not having support, but safety first.
A - There is this constant clash or fight against yourself about your sexuality. For a long time, you’ve considered it wrong and for a longer time, you’ve held back from coming out. Has this affected your mental health and how?
Sangria - Yea definitely. Um let me try to put this into words. Depending on the environment you are in, these issues affect you. Having something I couldn’t even talk about has never been good. I think the first person I ever talked about this was in 11th grade - Imagine knowing something for like 10 years and never feeling safe enough to talk about it. I guess this developed a mix of trust issues, anxiety, depression, identity crisis and a general fear of the future. And since then, I’m constantly fighting against this, I’m fighting against myself as well and I always have to worry about getting out of this situation.
I - So in your opinion, what do you think stops any individual in IIT Patna from coming out as queer?
Sangria - No established precedent. There is no rule or institutional support in general. This is not like saying I support this football team or basketball team, it is something entirely different, it’s part of someone’s identity, it’s not something I can change, it’s something someone is born with.
It’s not like we’re seeking validation, it’s definitely about seeking safety and comfort. Even if it’s not entirely hostile at the moment, nobody knows what could be the worst that could happen, or even if people would be supportive or at least neutral when a person comes out. The fact that we don’t have anything, any club or collective that has supported LGBTQ+ community in the past makes it all the more risky coming out. I’m not saying that everyone should come out in support, but at least if there was a support group, you’d know you could seek aid from them, but even that doesn’t exist. We are at a point that we don’t even know if a mental health professional would support our case.
I - Like you’ve mentioned before, have you come across incidents in campus that have demotivated you further from coming out as queer in IIT Patna?
Sangria - Yes, I have come across so many incidents where people make queer-phobic comments and abuses. Even criticizing someone’s fashion style or makeup. Just the general tendency to label everything as binary and anything deviant is absurd or wrong. I’ve seen lots of people badly react, not to me, but conversations where queer people are brought up. I haven’t even had these convos with strangers, but imagine if your own friend circle confesses they have such opinions. It was an eye-opener.
With strangers, all (a queer individual) wants is people to be neutral. But with friends and people close to you , you want them to be supportive, you want them to give you validation. We don’t want us to be treated differently or anything, but we want people to be sensitive. For instance, if there are underlying tones of sexism today, its commonly frowned upon. But this hasn’t reached the case with our community.
Even the general idea of being an ally is frowned upon. If I personally advocate for the queer community, I’m asked why I care so much, and if I advocate after I come out, I’d be reminded that it’s because I have something at stake.
I - Our campus is yet to have a pride support group or collective unlike other IITs or colleges in India. How do you think the lack of such a collective/community affect a queer student in IIT Patna?
Sangria - Like I’ve mentioned before, right now there is no precedent. But if you have a group or collective, you know that at least there are some people who aren’t just supportive but have your back. It might not guarantee that someone would come out, but it would still make them feel better in so many ways.
Such a collective would start the conversation, educating people about gender and sexuality.
They could also work on using inclusive language in campus. Also, introducing the idea of using the right pronouns and not assuming their pronouns. People usually assume a person who behaves a masculine way to have he/him pronouns, this just takes away their choice. If you ask someone’s pronouns, it gives them the comfort that the other person is willing to listen to them. The worst part is, when people refer to people at positions of authority, people assume it to be a he, and recently people have started to correct it to he or she, but this too is reinforcing the binary.
I - What action/support would you like to see from the admin or Gymkhana for the LGBTQ+ community in IITP?
Sangria - I guess, maintaining a zero-tolerance rule and mechanism against discrimination to the queer community. I mean, you know there is a system to help you out when it comes to other issues. If you get ragged, you know there is an anti-ragging cell and there is a protocol that can help you get support. In case of sexual abuse, you know who to approach and how you can get help. There’s no such thing when it comes to abuse against the queer community.
The Gymkhana could also help on creating a student collective in IIT Patna too.
I - Are you hopeful about a growing pride community and a supportive environment on campus?
Sangria - Yes. I know there are people who understand or are sensitive even if they aren’t queer themselves. So I am hopeful that there would be a better atmosphere for the batches to come.
I - How is Pride Month so far? What does Pride Month mean to you this year?
Sangria - I guess this year I have kind of, subconsciously at least, given myself this task that I would be more comfortable in my own skin. Obviously support of other people matter too, but you need to be confident in yourself, because if other people come up against you, its only going to be you for yourself. And that is something I have struggled with a lot, and many people struggle with in terms of any identity. So my goal is to be more comfortable and happy.
Yesterday has been pretty good so far. We had a meeting at the place i’m interning at. The second half of the meeting was just discussion. One of the members officially came out as transgender to everyone at work. They were explaining to everyone about what is gender, what it means for them to be transgender and why its important to them and, how exactly we can be inclusive as their peers. It somehow made me feel better and more safe.
I - Thank you for joining in for this interview. It was a pleasure to have you with us.
DIJON
Dijon goes by the pronouns - he/him and identifies himself as gay.
Firstly I would like to wish you a Happy Pride Month and hope its a blast this year.
Dijon - Haha, definitely!
I - How’s Pride Month been so far? What does it mean to you and how has it been since last June?
Dijon - Personally, it has been monumentally great. I’m currently in a city that is quite acceptable and quite open about it. It has been an amazing experience until now and the month isn’t over, so I'm expecting more gifts from my straight friends :P. I’ve also spent time this year reading up about the history of Pride month and I got to know the things that you'd consider very little things that snowballed into such a huge movement. Like in the US, the original pride parades started out very small, it was nothing like it is today and it turned into this huge revolution. I was fascinated by how gender identity and gender expression became such a significant part and liberated, all by a trans-woman throwing a brick at a police vehicle at a gay bar. It kind of reminds you of how little things do matter.
Right now, in the city I’m in, I was lucky enough to attend a drag race which was a really new experience and even a queer film festival, and I’ll be attending a pride parade next week, all of which I couldn’t do last year and am glad I could be part of it this year.
I - When did you accept yourself as queer? Was it early on or something after joining IIT Patna?
Dijon - My earliest memory of myself contemplating about this, I was in extreme denial. I used to think that maybe if I could change anything about myself, it would be this. But now looking back, I wouldn't change anything about me, I love being queer. I did accept it before coming to IIT Patna, I was lucky enough to find a close set of friends who were super supportive. My roomie and a very good friend of mine were very be supportive and I realized its okay to be myself. I don’t care about the rest in campus, but at least the friends I was surrounded with would also have my back.
Oddly enough, IIT Patna has also helped me grow a bit more queer, thankfully!
I - Did you come out of the closet to all your friends here?
Dijon - Yes, I did come out to a few of my friends here. It all started as a joke when I think about it. I remember being in a room with a lot of people, and we were having a random discussion. And then suddenly, I remember my roomie asking me if I was gay, and I answered it quite simply - yes! Everyone thought I was joking around and passed it off.
But later that same night, when we went to grab a coffee at Nescafe, my roomie asked me again about that question and whether I didn’t hear it clearly, maybe he was concerned if he asked the wrong question. But I told him I had already answered that question. I did not expect a positive reaction to that, but I was surprised he did. My initial impression of him was that he’d be a bit conservative, but he turned out to be very supportive. The first icebreaker story was that and since then it was a smooth journey. Now, I have enough confidence to randomly go out in the street and say ‘hey, I’m queer!’.
Another close friend of mine who was very supportive ever since I’ve been here - oh yea this is an interesting story too - once, I had put a story on Instagram where I had my nails painted, to which she replied “Why do you have your nails painted?”. “Because I loved it'', I answered and she didn't even have to ask anything further, she just asked me “Since when do you know?” and I replied “Forever”. She just instantly knew, and it was a beautiful memory that’ll stay forever in my mind.
I - What was your experience as a queer student when you joined IIT Patna?
Dijon - My initial impression was that since its a national institute, there’d be people from all parts of the country, and it’d be inclusive of all kinds of people.
When you look at first-gen or even second-gen IITs or IIMs, they have gender inclusion or pride support clubs, and I did look up if IIT Patna had one but there has been none, and I have always thought of establishing one before I leave.
I was hoping that people would be more open-minded and a bit more liberal in its views. That could be the case right now, but I don’t know, I think IIT Patna needs to grow a little more from its primitives it its ideas and talking about things that go against their opinions.
My initial impression of IIT Patna was better than what I can see, I wish it was more inclusive, but unfortunately it's not.
I - How was the Gender Sensitization program during your Freshers’ Orientation?
Dijon - It was a complete letdown in my opinion. If you go around today and ask anyone what LGBTQ stands for or what the difference is between someone who is gay or transgender, they wouldn't know. The program here, in this scenario, was a letdown in this sense. It only talked about girls’ issues and what’s the right thing to do, which is okay but only a part of the whole. The perception in that program was that gender = sex. So either change the name of the program or be more inclusive.
There was this incident at a university I was visiting once. It was a very prominent university, and they had this research centre called the Centre for Gender Equity Diversity and Inclusivity, which I was curious about. I was disappointed to see that it was all just limited to women's concerns rather than the rest of the spectrum. So I took out the time to write a mail to the professor heading that centre stating that you need to change the name of the policy centre since you aren't talking about all the genders, not even male, leave alone transgenders or non-binary.
I - What difference did you find in the attitude towards the LGBTQ community in IIT Patna and where you've come from?
Dijon - Where I come from, it's a small town, there’s not a lot of people who talk about it, I’d say people are aware of it, but the folks that I know generally don't care. In IIT Patna, many people are mistaken about it or know of it in a wrong way. In fact, they mistake the gay community with the trans community, considering both as one. I think that’s mainly the fault of the education policy of the nation, which failed to educate people about what gender is and what sexuality is. I would personally want people to educate people on the difference between sex, gender and sexuality, and more understanding of these terms.
Funny enough, in our Sociology class, even when we were talking about gender, the conversations were almost always about male or female. Even when it was outside the binary, it all boiled down to one thing - the transgender community. It’s as if ‘I talk about the trans community, I’m very liberal, but essentially you’re avoiding the entire spectrum in these conversations’.
I remember this incident where another student in IIT Patna posted something about an interview that criticized the idea of talking about the gender spectrum to small kids. I tried to convey my opinion that talking about it at a young age is a good thing, it helps avoid misconceptions in the future. But that person’s only response was finding a typo in the text of mine. This is sort of the general vibe of our college, to be honest. I hope this conversation would help the students who would read to iron out some of their misconceptions. I would also be grateful if it could help even one individual from the LGBTQ community in our college, to ignite something inside themselves to talk about themselves or how they feel or how confused they are.
I - How comfortable do you feel to be yourself in campus?
Dijon - It’s a fragile line I guess. I always wanted to paint my nails and go around campus, but I always had second thoughts of it, I thought maybe too many questions would arise and I wouldn’t want to answer it. I’ve been around in campus and heard a lot of people talking behind my back in campus already, so I always have second thoughts about doing things.
I used to have this phase of wearing a lot of chains which I’ve actually given away now. So yea I’ve always had second thoughts about things here.
Be it my hand movements, be it the way I walk or the way I talk to people, you’d have to be constrained always and pretend to be someone else to protect yourself. This had bugged me when people did speak ill about my expressions, so I do really constrain myself, but sometimes when I’m really happy I forget and it does backfire, there’s always someone who has something to say that doesn't sit well with me.
I - What do you think stops any queer individual in general, from coming out of a closet in IIT Patna?
Dijon - I think in general, any queer individual would need a lot of self-acceptance, a lot of conversations with yourself and maybe a lot of friends. They would probably benefit having a role model in campus or such. But in IIT Patna, even if someone thinks of discovering themselves, they wont be able to, our campus isn’t gender inclusive. They don’t see people like them or having anyone to look after them.
Its impossible there were no queer students in campus before me but since there were no infrastructure that would embolden them to assemble or express themselves, they were unnoticed.
I - Our campus does not have a pride support group in campus like other colleges. Could you elaborate on how exactly the lack of such a group affects a queer individuals.
Dijon - Firstly, such a group that talked about gender and sexual identity & expression, it would have inspired them and encouraged them to be themselves and express themselves.
Moreover, the support group would be setting a guideline to the non-queer community how their response to queerness should be. We don’t even have a baseline to talk about the LGBTQ community in IIT Patna, such a group could help a lot to set a well-established set of guidelines, setting a standard on queer-inclusivity.
In IIT Delhi, they have a pride group called Indradhanush, and in fact members of that group were petitioners in the case that removed Section 377 ( of the Indian Penal Code - which criminalized homosexuality). So, even if we start small, someday it could do something monumental just like Indradhanush did.
I - In the journey ahead, hopefully a conversation would begin across campus. Do you think or expect any action or response from the Gymkhana or administration would do anything about it?
Dijon - No. I don’t think so (they’d do anything forward for the LGBTQ community). I doubt the people in the Gymkhana elected at that level, or the admin are themselves enlightened to lead such a change. To sound very realistic, they might just talk about it but not do much.
I don’t trust much in their functionality that they would care to do something for this cause.I have not seen them to be powerful enough to do things and this is something that takes serious guts. They might stand up for it because its really cool, but do they really care? I highly doubt it.
I - Are you hopeful about a growing pride community and a supportive environment in our campus?
Dijon - I have high hopes but its just hopes. There’s even internalized homophobia among closeted queer students, since its the first time they’re coming outside their homes and have the freedom to explore their gender and sexuality. They don’t even know the movies or TV shows that they could relate to. All I want is to let them know that there are people like them who exist and the idea doesn’t sound alien to them.
I even tried to talk to student at AIIMS Patna and other colleges here, its a lot of homophobia in the entire state itself. Maybe setting up such a collective in IIT Patna, it could set a benchmark in Bihar itself, and pushing a conversation to the rest of the state.
I - On a lighter note, how’s the dating scene like in Patna?
Dijon - Hahah, well, in Patna, I did have a few dates but I wouldn’t say its lit. Even the folks I found here, many of them aren’t originally from Patna, they came in from other cities so it kinda shows how dismal it is in Patna.
The scene is however different in other Indian cities, its absolutely thriving. I’d say if you’re queer, you should definitely visit different cities just for the fun of it, I guess.
I - Since you mentioned you’ve been to Pride celebrations, could you tell us how pride celebrations are actually like?
Dijon - It’s very enthusiastic, its very different, it answers a lot of questions about yourself. You know where you stand in the spectrum after you go to a march or celebration, you meet a lot of queer people, what their understanding of pride is. You see what kind of glass walls are they breaking, it helps reassure you that being queer doesn’t bound you in anyway. That’s something you should know, to have role models, its irrelevant to think that being queer bounds you even today.
Being queer and celebrating my queerness has been a great experience to me. The people I’ve discovered , the cities I’ve explored, the conversations I’ve had - I wouldn’t have really discovered that without accepting my queerness. In fact, everyone should definitely show up at a pride parade or celebration, no matter what they believe in or identify as, it answers a lot of questions and opens up a lot of ideas to everyone.
MAGENTA
Magenta (he/him) identifies himself as a bisexual male student in IIT Patna.
I- So lets take it from the start. When did you accept yourself as bi? What was it like?
Magenta- I always had a thing for boys, probably since middle school. But then, I kinda rubbished that thought away because I thought it wasn't normal. Later in high school, I read a bit about it, and I started accepting that it was normal. It was a gradual journey of self-acceptance from that point.
I - That’s good to know. What was it like after joining IITP? Do your friends know?
Magenta - I did come out to a few friends in the beginning. I’m sure the signs were all there and they knew, but later, after all this time, when I went with some of my good friends on a trip this summer vacation, I came out to them for real and told them I was serious about it. They were quite chill about it and didn’t react otherwise. Maybe my friends in school were quite supportive, but here, maybe they might have a few doubts behind their back. Overall, I guess it was pretty normal as a queer student for me, especially since I was closeted.
I - What difference do you find in the attitude towards the LGBTQIA+ community in IIT Patna and where you’re from?
Magenta - I don't want to sound elitist, but where I was from, my friends were from a relatively posh area. So they’re aware and sensitive to the community. But the population here is quite diverse, they come from different places and cultures, and maybe they wouldn't even know what LGBTQ stands for. I don't really blame them for it either, it could maybe because of their background.
I - Do you find it comfortable being yourself in campus? Do you suppress your traits or expressions when you have company?
Magenta - I think the issue, in my case, goes back to middle school. I was always reminded to be a “man”. At first, I tried to fit in there, because I thought that it was the way around. If I acted a bit different, I would’ve got eyes around and maybe caught bullies’ attention, so I was always a bit wary of that. It kinda got engrossed in my personality itself, I care a lot about what others think, and the feeling of suppressing my mannerisms , maybe that’s where it came from and unfortunately yes, it still continues here.
I - Have there been any specific incidents after joining college that may have demotivated you from coming out as queer in IITP?
Magenta - I can't say there were any big incidents, but there were always tiny incidents all the time that contribute to the bigger problem. For instance, we had a celebration in college last semester. I am usually comfortable around people from my floor in my hostel, but in this scenario I had to mingle with people from other floors in campus. They were quite insensitive and were hurling homophobic abuses - using words like ‘cha**a’ and stuff - not directed at me, but it still exposes how they feel about the community and that makes you realize how a lot of people think about the community here.
I - And how did you take it? How has this affected your mental health?
Magenta - Yeah it does affect my mental health. Every time I step out of my room, I have to be aware of my surroundings, I need to be aware of how I speak or walk. Maybe its a good trait, but if that thought remains in your head for too long, it gets too tiring. It turns into this constant of fear of being judged and excluded. Yea, it kinda messes up your mind.
I - What do you think makes a student hesitate to come our as queer in IITP?
Magenta - In my opinion, probably only 10% of the population is actually cool with it, the remaining 90% can be split into two types of people - the first one are just plain a-holes who are just mean and unwelcoming. I don’t even want to talk about them. Now, the other half is still a bit unsure about where they stand, they might think that LGBTQ is more of an ideology. To them, what I’d like to say is - lets think what an ideology does? It forms principles, structures your desire,tells you what or how to think. That’s not how queerness works. I was born this way, I didn’t have to choose it. The only ‘ideology’ here is vying for the freedom we want to express ourselves. A radical form of freedom, in this generation, to find the courage to be ourselves. Maybe it’s nice you weren’t born this way because you dont have to go through anything our community has to go through. So, yeah, this isnt an ideology, its how we are, and the community only vies for freedom to be ourselves.
I - Our campus is yet to have a pride group, unlike other colleges. How does not having a queer collective in college affect a queer student?
Magenta - I’d say having a queer group or collective in campus might have its ups and downs. of course , being around like-minded and supportive people, it gives a student more sense of freedom and feeling of being included.
But some things look good on paper than in reality. I know of one instance, of one of my friends in IIT BHU. So they do have an open LGBTQ group. But when people join that club, the others find out who they are and spread allegations or disturb them later. So in another way, such a community exposes them to such risks. Even if there are hundred of good people, there might be one prick, and maybe that one person might make queer students hold themselves back.
I - Do you expect any actions from Gymkhana or Admin in the future?
Magenta - I do want the Gymkhana and admin to do something of course. They can start with small things, like using ‘they’ when its gender-neutral instead of ‘He/She’. Then of course, talking more about it, spreading awareness and sensitizing people about it. Just talking about it and making people realize they’re no different from the others is a good place to start.
I - Reflecting on Pride celebrations happening this year, what has changed or will change this year for you?
Magenta- I am travelling outside India this summer, and the owners of the house I’m going to stay for the while are surprisingly a queer couple. In fact, the person I’m sharing the room with is also apparently a gay man. They’ve told me they regularly host queer parties, and since its Pride month, I’ll be lucky enough to be around for quite a few. So I am excited and hopefully I’ll let you know how it was like later.
As we come to the end of Being Queer in IIT Patna, we would also like to help our friends’ initiative to reach out to more closeted individuals from the LGBTQ+ community in our campus. Anyone can send in an email to loveisloveislove.iitp@gmail.com. You can send in anonymous mails or otherwise. We’ll help you connect with our three friends, and if you wish to, publish your entries too!